Thursday, November 6, 2008

Water problem & maintainence.

The building where I stay has been facing acute water shortage for the whole of October & the problem persists now as well.

During the Diwali week,there was a meeting of the society committee to take stock of the situation.All hell broke lose & one member even tried to assault another,one person ended up resigning though he wanted to submit his resignation for some other reasons- to coerce others to pay heed to him.After that, the water shortage has not been solved. We are hearing rumors that committee members are being changed faster than you can blink- the members of committee who are there in the mornings are no longer members in the evenings !

Yesterday,as I went down to pick up my kid from the bus,I saw two water tankers coming inside our building compound- both were dripping water.Then ,I realised that it was money that was dripping & not water ! So much for solving of the water shortage.Incidentally, on the water tankers which are privately owned,one can clearly read what is written "On MCGM duty" MCGM stands for Muncipal Corporation of Greater Mumbai.What did you say collusion meant ?
Every tanker costs more than 1500/-& very soon the maintainence may be hiked to more than the already hefty amount of Rs.3500/ on a monthly basis.
Rahejas is a big name in the buliders lobby in Mumbai.One of his projects is the ACROPOLIS in our area.Not only is it very highly priced ,the maintainence he is seeking today is Rs.10000/- on a monthly basis.So,if I buy a flat at the Acroplois,I will have to resort to begging to pay for my food ,etc because all other money will go towards the maintainence only.Then,you can say for sure, that beggars really earn well - they can only afford such swanky addresses like Rahejas.On second thoughts,if the water shortage continues like this,our maintainence in this building may only go as high as Rs.10000/-.So why buy a flat from Rahejas when I am being fleeced to a similar amount here ?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Phatakas & lights on deepavali.

Deepavali is the festival of lights- lighting all around-in shops,on flats,buildings,in the streets,et al.As the fireworks display made dazzling signs in the amavasya sky,i was thinking,what about those who are always in dark ? those who are so poor that they cannot afford even a diya - the oil is of course impossible to pay for, except, perhaps, for their food.further,what about the kids who are toiling away in the sweatshops of SIVAKASI ,Tamil Nadu filling the combustible material in the fireworks so that we all can light the same ? actually,when we light up the phuljhadis,the anars,the rockets,etc it is money going up in smoke! it pollutes the atmosphere making many of us sick especially the asthmatics & others as well. this includes the animals & pray what about the green issues ?

I, for one, am petrified of phatakas except the snake - which is the major pollutant,i believe so.so on deepavali nights,i am always holed up at home.i am teased for my fear but i am like that only. i am afraid of getting burnt & staying alive after the burns in pain- the fear of pain perhaps more than the actual pain itself.

but can only my thinking bring about a change ? maybe, i am only an arm chair socialist who goes on & on about such issues,but apart from a meagre payment does nothing else.the payment is also done to wash away the sins accumulated over the years- also perhaps, to keep committing new trespasses as i can always pay for my way out of the morass, atleast to a certain extent, if not the whole way.

There is a tale about nehru -gandhi which relates to my arm chair activism- nehru's father motilal was unhappy, that, his son was taking keen interest in the independence movement.motilal felt, that jawahar was squandering away by not attending court thereby losing out on what wud hav been a great future at the bar.hence,he met gandhiji & requested him that his son b left out of all this & he wud pay a generous amount as a donation for the independence movement. gandhiji replied that he needed volunteers more than money for the struggle.i think, it is the same in this case- the NGOs need volunteers more than funds .i did try to volunteer but things hav not worked out .mayb ,i hav 2 try even harder.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Writing ?

I & my kid have come to pune to celebrate deepavali with my parents & my brother & his family.today we did laxmi puja as my bhabhi has been doing it earlier.so i recited the shlokas & my bhabhi performed the ritual as she does it every year by offering flowers,prasad ,aarti,etc.this was all disturbed by kids screaming that they wanted to go down to light crackers.actually,with them around every puja,even work is an exercise which tests our patience to the limit.

in the morning v all had lunch at the vardhendra swami mutt here as it was my grandma's shradh today.after that we returned home & saw the dvd of thoda pyar thoda magic.ok movie i wud say but very slow-that is why it flopped miserably.i finished an agatha christie novel which i had intended to read on my next visit but then it was too tempting to leave unread.so i was exhausted by the end of the day & intend to finish the book by JHUMPA LAHIRI ( UNACCUSTOMED EARTH) in a day or two.if i write a book,it is going to be an uphill task,looking at people who have written- a lot of research goes into everything that is written & i am unsure about wherein my research is going to come from.but first,i have to discipline myself to write a few lines on a daily basis without fail.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Indulgence ? !

2day appa gave us all a treat as he has got his arrears courtesy the pay commission. v went 2 a thali restuarant at Pune.it was a nice maharashtrian meal with 3 sweets- a fruit salad,shrikhand n jalebis.there were puris n chapatis n of course masala bhat-something like north indian pulao.it was very reasonably priced 2.v all indulged in the meal quite a bit- result is v r not feeling hungry even now at 9 in the nite.

i feel, that if, i keep indulging like this,WHERE WILL ALL THIS LEAD 2 ? am i doing this as i hav nothing better 2 do r i am living only 2 eat ? does everybody indulge like this ? i don't know my purpose in life- i hav read at so many places that god makes every person n gives him a purpose.now , where is mine r mayb i hav still not realised- that's becoz i am such a fool !i hope, god gives me hints 2 say, the least,even if, the purpose is staring me in the face.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

INSECURITY

I keep getting this uneasy feeling - what if the tide changes & i hav 2 work later on ? How will I b able 2 do that, on a later date? Why am i getting this insecure ? There is no specific reason for it - just that good times do not last - yes,these r good times 4 me- in a sense that is- i am lonely- my kid is big enough now- she needs me in some ways n is independent of me in some ways.so how do i fight this left out feeling ? i just manage home that is i hav a maid to do the utensils n mopping n another 1 to prepare chapatis ,i also help my kid with her home work.i do a little dusting,do the odd bank job n also other things which any housewife does.apart from all this,i find it indeed difficult to pass time. so blogging was a way out- of course it helps me 2 vent my frustration as also hone up my skills ( if this can b called that ).

The other day, a batchmate wrote n said that housewives r home makers n he respects them a lot - he made my day but still, i continue 2 feel insecure about not working as earlier.i do try 2 read the newspaper - i wud say that the daily newspaper is a complete entertainment !they hav 2 b - as they r competing with the idiot box ,isn't it ?

Well,returning to the earlier topic, i shared this with my mom n she opined that as time changes,u will b able 2 adjust but will i ? my husband will not listen 2 all this- he says he will never retire ! but if something was 2 happen ,then ?so i am thinking why can't i apply 4 a part time job ? but then in india part time jobs - i had tried earlier as well- r part time as regards 2 salary n full time as far as timings r concerned.so i hav 2 keep trying n mayb i may land something. actually, in India, working from home is not an option 4 the females who languish at homes after marriage n kids. i am sure, there r a million ladies who can make a wonderful contribution 2 all the numerous fields by working from home.is any company listening ? i hope so.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Padosan

I havE this padosan who keeps borrowing items like aloos,hari mirchi,kanda( marathi 4 onions ),adrak,et al.The iritability is about the time of the demand- it is when I am in a  tearing hurry- when I am readying my kid's dabba at 7 in the morning ! She is most impatient - expects me to  drop all my work when she walks in & cater to  her. To think of it - the kind of service she is getting from me, I doubt if she will get in any shop ! She also leaves her house keys with me but expects me tom  return the same before I  go out of town.Recently when Iwas going 2 pune ,I remembered that I had  to return her house keys otherwise,I   wouldud have to travel all the way from Pune just to return her house keys!

Yesterday, she came& borrowed potatoes &  as they were developing shoots,she had the audacity to drop the shoots in my house itself ! In the evening, she came in to  demand change for  a 100 rupee note - she just handed over the note to  my kid  through the slit in the safety door-I  was livid but managed to  gather all my &  warned her never to  take the money like that-suppose she had dropped it .It might get lost with my padosan having no patience &  I would have  to  give change as well as lose a 100 bucks  -maybe God alone knows how much.

I am sure u all hav similar stories about ur padosis but then we hav 2 live with them- as a cliched saying goes- all five fingers r not the same.moreover, padosis r the only 1s who will b the 1st 2 b with us in times of sorrow as also in happier times- they r the 1s with whom v can share the ups n downs of life before others even come 2 know about it.also ,i am sure even my actions wud hav irritated my padosis sometime r the other.so having padosis is an occupational hazard !

Thursday, October 16, 2008

PRAYASCHIT

While in chennai,i saw a relative doing a puja on the rishi panchami day.she had placed an idol of lord krishna standing in a pose with one feet crossing the other with a flute in his hands & a cow at his back almost kneeling its face 2 the feet of the lord.she had covered an asan ( a mani in kannada n peeth in marathi) with a rangoli & placed the idol on that.she recited some shlokas n lighted a lamp.i asked what this was all about n she replied that this was like atonement for all the poojas done earlier by a woman when she would hav knowingly/unknowingly done acts for puja when she was out of doors .it is something like confession in christianity.this puja is 2 b done on rishi panchami day 4 5 years.n i believe this can b done by ladies when they r in menopause.i am sure various sects hav some r the other atonement procedures like this.but r they only 4 women ? does this mean that only a woman is impure when she does pujas - not all the times but sometimes ?r v all really pure in mind & r body when we set in obesience before the lord ? can v say 4 sure that v r ekchit - 1 mind before the almighty ?but 1 good thing about this is that there is an act - the act of poojas 2 atone- something like an appeal before the higher courts,if v hav been impure physically & mentally.as one of my friend says always " Every sinner has a future ,every saint has a past ".in other words,past actions need not fetter us- v can always b better n even god will allow n help us in our endevours.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Chennai visit

V left 4 chennai by jet airways courtsey my husband's booking at Dammam. If i had booked jet ,i wud b asked if i was unable 2 get a cheaper flight -so i asked him. he replied that he was unable 2 get thru any other site n so he got tickets booked vide an agent .anyway,only i n harini travelled from mumbai 2 chennai as my husband had flown from dammam 2 chennai on 2nd sept. v reached at nite having taken an evening flight.Jet gave us food - dinner -salad, roti,sabzi ,kaali dal ,rice,some sweet .
My husband was there 2 receive us at the V went 2 my eldest nand's place at Tambaram( it is a suburb of chennai ) .V were 2 stay there at her bunglow 4 performing the 1st death anniversary of my father in law.when v reached the house,all my husband's family members had not arrived.my jethani n jeth arrived a little later folloed by my mother in law ,my devrani n her kids.my husband's 2 younger brothers n the eldest sister whose bunglow we were all staying was already there.V went 2 sleep on mats n some pillows made by folding bedsheets.but chennai heat allows sleep even on bare floor.by 6in the morning,v were up except the as curent goes off from 6-8.v then took urns 2 bath in the 2 bathrooms.v were told 2 take head bath on all days leading 2 the death anniversary- this is all so as chennai thrives on orthodoxy which is very extreme.cooks arrived at 7 2 start cooking .priests arrived at 102 start the ceremony.kids were served somethings as breakfast. but elders were given oats ( only ladies)-sons were not as this is the custoim when any death anniversary is performed.v sat 4 lunch at around 12.30 - sambar,rasam,etc n 1 sweet was served.this was a regular feature on all the 4 days.

my youngest nanad who stays in uk had got a bridesmaid dress 4 harini which harini wore the moment it was handed 2 her alongwith the pink pearl necklace,bracelet et al.my nanad is also very orthodox even though has been in uk 4 the last 6-7 years. i continue 2 b amazed by her actions.she sits out of doors during the monthly menses n her husband who is an M.tech cooks during those days.her 2 sons r terribly naughty n she has her hands full. v went 2 c her off at the airport n were wondering as 2 how she will manage the flight- the eldest son is 6 yrs od while younger 1 is yet 2 b 3.but then she reached safe n sound - she called up 2 say that she had no problems n all was fine.

on the day after the death anniversary,v had a pavmaan homa ( yajnya -dedicated 2 hanuman).as per madhwa ( i am a madhwa brahmin)- before n after marriage)tradition,Sri narayana cannot b directly approached- only by praying 2 hanuman,v can approach narayana.the yajnya was for the whole family- but my youngest nanad had already left 4 london the earlier nite as she was unable 2 get her tickets resheduled.the yajyna went off very well.afterwards in the evening v were ready 2 leave 4 mumbai- i,harini n my husband.v took my mother-in-law's ashirwad( my husband asking her 2 give ashirvada of boundless wealth) . the jet flight was good- there was a tv screen n i enjoyed sarabhai v/s sarabhai sitcom n harini also watched on her screen some sitcom. my hubby just tried 2 sleep- he hates tv.v had a nice dinner n jet even had buttermilk as a welcome drink n it was real good.v reached home at 11 n went 2 bed.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Anuradha - The movie.

Today I saw Anuradha directed  by Hrishikesh Mukerjee .It stars Leela Naidu, (who, as per the late directer Satyajit Ray  was a classic beauty)  Balraj Sahni &   Abhi Bhattacharya.The film was way ahead of  its times.I had seen this movie earlier & today it was nostalgia once more.

A doctor,Balraj Sahni  falls in love with a girl, who is  his patient, as she had  fall & is injured.She is an upcoming singer.She is the beautiful Leela Naidu.She marries him despite opposition from her  rich parents who feel that Abhi Bhattacharya, is the suited to their stature in life.

Post marriage,Leela follows her husband  to work in a village, where he treats patients. Leela toils hard.She is doing housework & attends to their small daughter.Singing which was her life, has been long forgotten. Her husband  has no time for her .He is too involved, in treating his patients.

One day ,Abhi & friends comes visiting & insists that she sing for his group of friends.She agrees & sings ! One of the best  songs in the movie..."Kaise din beete ,kaise beeti ratiya,piya jaane naa......( how does the day get wasted,how the night gets wasted,.....my lover does not realise.....)" . When she is singing ,Abhi & friends are in rapt attention, taking in the soulful voice, while the hubby, that is the Doctor is immersed in reading a medical journal.

The wife stays with the husband & does not leave for the city where she could set the music world on fire ! Why ? Because she loves her husband more than she loves music.Maybe reel life imitated by real life...too many examples...Nargis-Sunil Dutt,Amitabh -Jaya, Mazhar Khan-Zeenat,....

There is  a feminist message ...that the husband must have some regard for the talent of the wife.Yet the message is too subtle ...will the wife continue to be a home maker though she can be someone else ? Will the husband do something so that the talented wife does not fade into oblivion ?Many of us who have to give up our jobs for any reasons whatsoever will surely identify with the character portrayed by Leela Naidu.

All were stellar actors...Balraj Sahni,Abhi Bhattacharya & David.This was Ms India...Leela Naidu's debut movie ! She looks stunning, though it is a black  & white movie.The suave Balraj Sahni, was a member of Indian People's Theatre Association & an excellent actor.It was Hrishikesh Mukherjee's creditable direction which never makes the audience feel that this  was the first  movie for Leela Naidu.

One of the first songs in the movie "Bahut din huye ...."was a story I had read in my Hindi class decades ago .It is about a princess-Phulkumari, who never laughs & then all try to make her laugh.Finally ,a funny man   makes her laugh.He is a prince & he wins her hand.So, this movie brought back school memories !

Music by Pandit Ravi Shankar is simply superb ! The songs do full justice to the fact, that the heroine of the film is a singer par excellence, who gets  lost in  the life of a house holder.Lata Mangeshkar's voice is so young & fresh ! The lyrics speak of joy,agony & the sadness of the singer who gets eclipsed completely  by the homemaker !

If this movie  was to be made today ,I am sure it would have a very different ending .

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Doubt.

2day,I went 2 an NGO 4 an interview as i hav volunteered 4 the TEACH INDIA initiative by The Times of India.I was able 2 leave home after i had completed a major part of my cooking.the bai who makes chapatis did not turn up 2day as well.

I prepared tea 4 the maidservants ( mom n daughter duo) who do my vessels, jhadu n pocha.then i said a short prayer n was off . i took a rick as it was already 10.30 n the place was half an hour after i board the train. i validated my coupon n waited 4 the train. waiting 4 the rain made me feel guilty of wasting money on the rick as the train took such a long time 2 arrive that i cud hav walked the way.

The train was crowded but i was able 2 board it. after a few stops before i was halfway, i got a seat.I opened my prayer books n started reading - more 2 keep myself occupied rather than pray.i got down at my destination n had 2 ask 4 directions more than 4 times before i finally made it.

I was made 2 fill up some form n then i was given a page dealing with the rules of the NGO ( the expectations from a volunteer).then 1 lady called me in her chamber- all glass- she was operating a pc n she was unlike a jhola wali( no khadi - no indian clothes)- she was in jeans n tees n her hair was curly rather unruly.she enquired as 2 why i wanted 2 volunteer- i answered- that i wanted 2 make a difference. she kept on feeding her pc with the info.i possibly cudn't hav said that i was bored so i wanted 2 try this out.she said that she will call me next week 4 an induction programme.i brought a rule book of the ngo- an HRD manual.then i left after asking 4 directions 2 go bak 2 the station. i was shown a shortcut. when i use such shortcuts ,i ponder r there shortcuts in life. some seem 2 b using shortcuts in life as well.

i reached the station and got a return ticket. i also got a coupon book n waited 4 the train. i boareded the train n started flipping the pages of the manual.as i did this- i came 2 know that no child- (this ngo works with underprivileged kids) shud b subject 2 any abuse- physical,mental ,emotional,etc. i began 2 wonder- if i am really suitable 4 such a kind of work- even volunteering- i feel i am forever screaming at my kid- abusing her mentally n emotionally - rarely physically.2day also, her actions,attitude made me miserable n i abused her but not physically. so will i really b able 2 take up this ? i am doubtful.very doubtful indeed.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Bais

Yesterday,the chapatti bai did not turn up. so at the nth moment,i prepared some dosas n gave in harini's dabba. poor kid- the ketchup container fell n she ate sukha dosas,she said when she returned from school.

Later when i was preparing lunch, i had a discussion with my 6th floor neighbours- the topic was bais n their failings et al. all my three neighbours whenever they r talking the topic is the same- bais. this time i had joined them. their bais keep changing on a monthly basis- no exaggeration- some bai is not clean,some r not on time,some r 2 demanding etc.so they r forever on the lookout for good bais. ! but unfortunately 4 them,the good bais r on the lookout for perfect employers.so the twain rarely meet.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

dilemma

I am feeling unwell- heavy head.i was unable 2 meditate also- i never tried but i did not feel upto it.harini has gone 2 school n i am alone now.
i played the word game free rice 2 make my contribution 2wards world hunger n cheked my mail.But does my measly contribution of 1000 rice grains make me feel that i hav done my duty ? i wonder. i shud do more but in what way. i send e cards by cliking on the hunger site but that is once in a while. so how can i do more? i want 2 volunteer,but in this state of mind will i b able 2 do ? i am very frustrated as i am bored at home- i gave up my job - lost a lot of leave- got no cash 2wards the same. i felt a gr8 sense of betrayal- betrayed by my employer - whom i hav served sincerely for nearly 16 years n look at the consequence ? i had all technical qualifications for insurance when i was forced to leave my job. i did try 2 use my leave but my leave application was denied for flimsy reasons- looking bak at it - i feel there was a conspiracy 2 make me resign.presently many people on transfer r coming bak on reasons ranging from illnesses of dear ones 2 infertility treatments et al.really ! there is a lot of heartburn amongst those who hav not been able 2 manage transfers r deputations bak 2 base n maybe they r wishing that somebody falls so sik that their transfer is okayed ! but is any job worth so much ? i am still pondering over this .

I plan 2 take bath- i may feel better after a bath n pray. 2day being thursday, i hope 2 recite the Vishnusahsranama.then mayb cook a sabzi n do the usual things like watch tv,read newspaper,etc.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Harini

Harini is not well. last evening @ 4 she vomited.The vomit was really sour ,i am sure. smelt awful.i cleaned the bathrooms n the passage with phenol.she vomitted in the bathrooms n the commode.it took me nearly half an hour to clean up all that.

then she was lying on the sofa watching the idiot box. she said stomach ache was reduced.but all strength was drained- she had eaten only dahi with a sprinkle of hing as she had complained of tummy ache as soon as she was bak from school.she was forced to sleep by me against her demand of going n joining kavya to play.

medha came with kavya a little later at around 5 n left kavya with us.she went 2 the chembur market with uma.i watched my marathi sitcom avantika.kavya was busy coloring n harini was watching her. in between kavya asked me umpteen times about things harini had eaten, n if harini was ok 2 go down n play.

The electrician came as soon as the sitcom was over 2 repair the phone which was dead since the weekernd. he told me 2 chek the phone - it had come alive ! i thanked him n he was gone.

a litle later,medha had returned from the market. she had got kelas for harini- big n green.but they were not ready 4 eating as yet.medha also took little hing in a katori n added just some drops of water .she told harini 2 lie down on the sofa.harini did as told but said that she does not want the hing water mixture applied to her navel.v had 2 cajole her so much that v had almost given up.finally medha applied the mixture 2 harini's navel.this mixture is a home remedy 4 a tummy ache,gas,etc.then v all were chatting- medha n i n harini n kavya.harini after 5 minutes got up 2 wash the application from her navel area.she didf that n again came n lied down on the sofa. medha suggested that i take harini 2 the doctor as harini was still complaining about her tummy ache.i agreed as it was raining n harini's tummy ache could worsen n then it would become late in the night when no doctor would b available.

I n harini dressed up n went to the doctor at chembur after cheking up that he was available.Dr. vaidyanathan came into his consulting room within 5 minutes of our arrival there. his son also came with him. he called us in immediately. i told him about harini's stomachache. he prescribed a medicine 4 loose motion,1 for vomitting & another 4 stomache.he told that except the stomache medicine which i can give as soon as i get home, the other 2 medicines were only 2 b given if she vomiiteed again n she passed stools many times.v went to the pharmacy n got the medicinesn 1 box of strawberry cornflakes n got into an auto n arrived home.

I gave her the tummy ache medicine n then took her 2 kavya's home. medha had cooked rice.she was making rotis.harini came into the kitchen n asked if she could eat rotis. medha said no n told her that rotis were for herself. harini ( an avid lover of chapatis ) was terribly disappointed.vedika was also playing there. she refused 2 eat dinner there- her grandpa came 2 pik her up n she went away.harini n kavya sat 4 dinner. kavya had rasam rice n harini dahi rice.hari n said she was fiull after 4-5 mouthfuls. i fed her after that n she finished her plate.then i sat with her 4 some time.i then came bak home. n kept rice in the cooker 2 warm it up. i tarted the netn the phone rang. it was amma. she asked about harini n advised me 2 get bread 4 harini. i went down n got half a loaf of bread n butter.

I again went up 2 pik up harini n returned home. she was ready 2 sleep when she saw the pc on. she asked if she could play n then when i nodded,she started playing some dress up games. i finished my dinner n then rang up my husband n told him about harini's health. he talked with her but she was not interested as she wanted 2 play on the pc. he hung up n i watched some sitcoms n warmed some water. i added a little haldi 2 water n drank a glassfull 2 soothe my irritable throat. i gave harini little warm water 2 drink. then v went 2 bed.
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